Relationships bring together two unique individuals, each with their own history, needs, and ways of being in the world. Challenges can arise in the patterns of interaction that emerge and evolve. Relationship counselling is about identifying and modifying these patterns for more harmonious and fulfilling relationships.
While this may sound simple, it can be anything but. As anyone who is in or has been in a relationship can attest, it can be hard to step back and see what’s truly going on when you’re in the thick of it, and seeing past our own biases and emotion-driven reactions is close to impossible. Furthermore, making changes can be hard - layer on top of this the dynamic interplay that emerges as we respond to each other and our new ways, and it can get tricky.
This is where relationship counselling comes in. As your Psychologist, I can shine a light on the patterns that are causing you problems and guide you through deciding what to do about them.
What you can expect:
- • Space for reflection, sharing your observations and to feel heard
- • Insights about how the patterns that play out between you impact each of you and the relationship itself
- • Information about how certain types of patterns tend to play out and how best to manage them
- • Active support for making changes to adjust patterns over time
- • Encouragement, respect and emotional support for each of you as individuals
- • Strengthening and celebration of what brings you together and bring you joy and fulfilment
I am flexible in my approach and work with couples experiencing all manner of concerns, including but not limited to: Communication difficulties, Recurring conflicts, Trust and intimacy issues, Infidelity, Life transitions and decision points, Extended family conflicts, Parenting, and Disconnection.
If you're interested in more technical information about my approach, I draw on an eclectic mix of the Gottman Method, Solution Focused counselling, Systems Theory and Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. If you’d like to know more about any of these, feel free to reach out or ask during session.
Please Note:
Firstly, in relationship counselling there are three intended beneficiaries, not just one - you, your partner, and the relationship. This means that we need to be smart about how we use the time available to get the best value out of it. I will manage this for you, which means I may be somewhat directive of where we focus our efforts.
Secondly, imbalances are to be expected. The typical imbalance is that one partner is more dissatisfied than the other, or at least more vocal about it, and has more to say and is seeking more change through the relationship counselling process, and the other falls into reacting and defensiveness. I see it is my job to work to counteract this. This is not only necessary for the rights of the more defensive partner to feel empowered and engaged with the process, but also has been shown by research to achieve the best results in the long term.
Thirdly, challenges in our own personal psychology often play out in relationships and relationship counselling. While we address these, their role in the relationship, and how best to handle them, I may at times recommend individual counselling as well to help get these personal challenges the full attention they deserve.